Having scrutinised the region for its finest talent, the producers were pleased to announce the cast for the Edinburgh Fringe Festival performances. The members were: Mr. Richard Llewellyn, Mr. David Redcliff, Mr. Scott Hutchinson, and Miss. Sarah Cleeves. Admirers of these performers were requested to refrain from mobbing these artists before or during the performances, and most found themselves able to comply. The announcements of the cast went as follows:

 David Redcliff is clearly a man to be reckoned with. In his youth, he donned cape and mask and roamed the rooftops of Newcastle as The Quayside Crusader, in the vain hope of encountering nefarious villains with whom to do battle. He studied performing arts at Sheffield University, and drama at Newcastle College. He has appeared in many local theatrical productions, including musicals, and most famously was a policeman in the recent film hit Billy Elliot. He is hotly tipped to do well in this year’s finals of the All-England Sheep Strangling competition. Mr Redcliff plays: First Narrator, Man in Street, Sergeant Connery, The Colonel, Arthur, The King, Helper.

Scott Hutchinson is an epic in human form. Author of A Pictorial History of Gargling, he first came to fame when he crossed the Sahara by pogo stick. The only thing that barred him from a shining career with British military intelligence was his psychological instability. He is a first class shot. Since the age of fourteen, he has had a laudable fifty three different occupations. When working on a sweet stall, he gained three and a half stone in three months, and then discovered a way to lose this weight in almost the same time: he became a student. Mr Hutchinson plays: Braithwaite, Steve, Third Narrator, Waiter, Clerk, Lord Rawlinson, Field Marshall Ulrich Von Richtofen, Bert, Pooter.  

 Richard Llewellyn is a gentleman of vigorous resolve. He has done great service to his nation while clad in chainmail, never quailing from any match of fisticuffs or broadsword. A stunt-arranger for the bravest and truest of British thespians, he is equally at home armed with rapier or leopard. His ability to hold a tennis racket has qualified him to play the sport at his country's highest level. His nose is a living testament to the strange loops and resonances that the structured interplay of genes and chromosomes can set up. Mr Llewellyn plays Graham Pennyworth.

Sarah Cleeves has been inaccurately described as a Mandelbrot set of fractal geometry. Her much-studied voice has been known to shatter glass, bakelite, and even cork. Though renowned for being the first person to domesticate the llama, her true calling lies in the field of horticulture. She runs the largest hedge farm in the north, producing hedges for customers all round the world. She studied performance at the University of Northumbria. Miss Cleeves plays: Rachel Binkley, Second Narrator, Attendant, Club Member, Singh, Sid, The Queen.  

The menu repeated:


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