The Adventures of Stoke Mandeville
The VIDEO,
and how YOU
can do your bit.


The producers hope and expect to start principal photography on this epic, which shall be improving for viewers, in NEWCASTLE UPON TYNE, England, in late February or March of the year 2012. This shall be achieved by the new technology of GREEN-SCREENING, in which fabulous backgrounds are added by the back-room boffins, behind a foreground of animated thespianism.

The footage of the story shall then be edited into short episodes and released through the modern medium of YouTubeTM, a VIDEO SHARING site, in the hope not only of educating the masses on the benefits of pipe-smoking and properly boiled food, but also of attracting pecunious organisations to this opportunity for investment.

CAST MEMBERS REQUIRED

For the furtherment of this venture, talented artistes are required to fulfil the various roles of the tale. Most parts can be shot in one day, others may take a few. A great variety of ages and types may find suitable positions on this production, involving as it does:

Her Majesty The Queen of Britain: who fancies Carstairs MacDonald something rotten.

Lord Henry Rawlinson: a loud-mouthed aristocrat.

Graham Pennyworth: a hesitant bewildered lawyer who, through applying himself, turns into a tremendous hero capable of defeating thirty French Legionnaires and announcing this with a self-deprecating quip.

Field Marshal Ulrich von Richthofen: a terribly English commander from New Basingstoke.

Singh: an efficient attendant who may or may not be a lady. It’s difficult to tell because of the moustache.

Steve/Stephen: a useless young office helper on a job creation scheme who transforms thanks to the example set by Carstairs MacDonald into a model of competence and dedication.

Rachael: a modern aggressively assertive lawyer who transforms into an icon of feminine niceness.

Man-in-the-Street: a man in the street, complete with local accent and unhelpful manner.

His Majesty The King of Britain: a dignified gentleman, who cannot bear the thought of mass perturbation in the streets.

“Braithwaite”: one of several dastardly French spies.

Bert, Sid, and Arthur: three lower-class operatives of The Babbage Moon, suffering from lager contamination.

Note that the story is set largely in an ALTERNATIVE DIMENSION in which the entire solar system has joined the British Empire, apart from France. As a result of this, any of the above roles could be played by a performer of any skin colour.

CREW REQUIRED

Persons both with and without expertise are required to aid with the behind-camera aspects of production, these to include camera operation, lighting, holding of things, throwing of things from off-camera, sound recording, prop making, painting, costume, and operation of ASSORTED GADGETS.

The level of commitment required is not great. While it would of course be excellent to have dedicated volunteers to work throughout the production, to emerge as fully trained experts in their fields, helping for a few hours can make a difference.

CONTRIBUTORS OF STUFF APPRECIATED

Those members of the public in the Newcastle area who are blessed with possessions that may suit as props and furnishings for the production, be they specialist STEAMPUNK items, or just nice examples of objects that might suit a parallel world in which everything is well-crafted from sumptuously-padded leather, fine filigree brass, or dark polished wood, are cordially invited to contribute these for the decoration of the screen. They are invited to use their imagination to decide what might be useful. Screen credits for this generosity will of course be forthcoming.

Items that would be particularly useful include:
  • Brass fire poker/tool sets
  • Table lamps
  • Hat stands
  • Desk items (clocks etc.)
  • Gauges and dials for machinery
  • Nice tea pots and cups
  • Butter dish, plates, cutlery
  • Speaking tubes (a bit specialist, this one, but wouldn’t it be great if someone came up trumps!)
  • Nice tumblers, decanters
  • Small tables
  • Canisters for storing things (esp. cylindrical)
  • Deck chairs
  • Cricketing equipment/clothing
  • Colourful blazers
  • Smart vintage style clothing
  • Tea trolley
  • Hats (one can never have too many hats)

CONTRIBUTORS OF IMAGES

Those persons living further afield than is practical for the lending of actual physical items, can nonetheless contribute. If they have items which they can photograph, or are already in possession of digital photographs of items or scenes, they can send them in, and these can be added to the backgrounds. It is a strict requirement that any photographs sent in are original and not copies of images created by others, and that all permissions necessary for the taking of the photographs and the sharing of them have been granted. Useful images would include all on the above list of items, plus many more, including:
  • Clear pictures of buildings, especially very nice and fancy buildings, showing large expanses of single sides of the building taken as near flat-on as possible.
  • Marvels of engineering – massive iron bridges, girders, canal locks, zeppelins etc.
  • Images of cricket grounds with and without crowds, raked seating for the watchers etc.
  • Old-fashioned boats/ships, large and small, and details of them (portholes etc.).
  • Clear undistorted images of doors, doorways, windows, pillars, niches, fireplaces, and other architectural details, especially of fancy buildings, and especially of interiors.
  • Soldiers in ceremonial uniforms.
  • Steampunk creations in all their imaginative variety.
  • Magnificent gardens, with clipped hedges, flowerbeds, statuary etc.
  • Images of furniture, especially such things as fancy desks, wing-backed armchairs, deep leather settees, opulent carpets, bookcases, and anything attractive and in the spirit of the piece.
  • Machinery, especially with attractive brass gauges and dials on it, steam engines, pistons, gears, etc.
  • Complete framed pictures, especially oil paintings with fancy gilt frames, preferably taken from directly in front, using a standard lens (not wide angle).
  • Rocky landscapes, unusual skies etc. suitable for creating Martian exteriors.
  • Artwork of planets and moons seen from space.

If you think you would like to contribute some photographs, you might wish to get in touch with the makers of the production before taking some new pictures for the purpose, to be advised on how best to go about it, and which angles etc. would be most useful.

Should you judge yourself capable of aiding the producers by carrying out any of the above roles, or others not listed including background extras etc. kindly contact Mr Nikolas Lloyd via the new electric telegraph using the following address:




GOD SAVE THE KING!


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