Recently I was reading a copy of a regional what’s-on magazine, filled with talk of the latest films, trendy restaurants, and rock gigs in the North East. The pages were the usual gaudy mix of things, each trying to grab my attention and convince me that I was missing out on a world of wild pleasure. What succeeded in fascinating me, however, was a page near the back about our hero, Trevor of the T.A. It was one of those ‘a day in the life of’ pages, where they get someone interesting to answer a load of questions, and we the readers learn how one person squeezes all the fun-juice out of life in this area, so that perhaps we might strive to emulate him.

Trevor, however, was not out of the usual mould for these pages. Seldom if ever have I read a page in a magazine so many times. I found myself fascinated. Almost immediately I saw the potential for a page on my website, but then I smelt a rat. Might the page actually be a con? Could Trevor be a real person? Perhaps it was all a spoof and I would look silly for taking it seriously. I did the responsible thing and telephoned the publishers in Bath and checked with them.

I was told that Trevor is a real person. I have, however, for the purpose of this web-page, changed his name, but every other word and detail is exactly reproduced here, down to the last comma and Bizarre Capital. Not only is Trevor real, but the publishers had used his article twice. The T.A. had bought advertising space in the magazine, and as part of the deal had wangled its man onto the day-in-the-life page, and the T.A. itself had chosen Trevor, supposedly because it considered him a good example. The T.A. wanted to recruit, and wanted the publicity.

You may, at the bottom of this page, read Trevor’s page in one unbroken reproduction, but before this, I will take you through it bit by bit, with comments from me, and speculations as to what might have been running through the mind of the publisher as he read through what the T.A. had sent him for his the-North-East-is-great magazine. You can then take the Trevor Tennson Challenge!

Yes, dear visitor to Lloydian Aspects, can you rise to the challenge and improve on Trevor’s writing? The challenge is to suggest some alteration, addition, deletion, or rearrangement to his work that would make him seem an even duller person, and life in the T.A. even more bland. Your suggestions, however, must not tip the work into the world of obvious fiction. The finished piece must read as if written by a real person. Already as published the piece threatens to come across as a spoof, so your work has to be deft and well-judged. You must make Trevor seem duller without losing the reader’s belief in him as a real man. This is a tight-rope walk of a writing challenge if ever there were one. Send your entries to:

And now, brace yourselves, and read in one uninterrupted session the full magnificence of the original...

A Day In The Life of Corporal Trevor Tennson of the TA in Sunderland

I am a member of the Territorial Army Medical Squadron based at the TA Centre in Sunderland where I have been serving for the best part of 13 years.

I have recently completed a 3 years Full Time Reserve Service (FTRS) contract with the Army, which means I was a Regular Soldier for the 3 years, 6 months of which I spent in Bosnia. I have now returned to the Territorial Army in the rank of Corporal.

My day starts with me dealing with administration duties which usually involve sorting through the application forms received from people expressing an interest in joining the T.A. The forms have to be checked to make sure they have been completed correctly and then send out a letter inviting the candidate for an interview.

I also have the daily responsibility of looking after all stand alone computers, both PC’s and laptops, in the unit which means I have to update them with Anti Virus software when received through the TA system as well as fix any hardware problems that may occur to any of the computers. I spend a lot of my spare time building and repairing computers so I find that most of my colleagues will also ask me to look at their computers if they are having problems with the hardware or software or ask me to update their software applications.

Another part of my daily schedule is to assist in the running of the unit Medical Store. Medical stores are used to keep all this unit’s life saving equipments and when required for military operations or exercises then the various equipments are loaded onto the unit’s Battlefield Ambulances. The importance of ensuring that all the medical equipments are serviceable cannot be overstated so the unit is subject to numerous equipment inspections annually.

Another job I have to undertake on a regular basis is to ensure all Fire Equipment is checked and serviceable and records maintained.

Memorable incidents?

On our way to camp several years ago we had to assist in a road traffic accident involving several cars, we gave first aid on the scene until the Emergency services arrived.

What do you like about living in your area?

Living close to the A19 for the fast access to work.

What are your favourite local places to eat?

Our local Chinese.

What are your favourite watering holes?

I’m not much of a drinker.

Last film you watched ?

Underworld.

Last cd I bought?

Take That for my wife.

What’s on your ipod?

Not got an ipod but I do have a handheld pc with a few songs on and my computer fix inventory on.

Favourite holiday destination?

Had a wonderful honeymoon in Hawaii. Would love to see Australia.

Recent discovery?

Cheap computer accessories shop.